What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 04:44
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Marines in LA as ICE protests spread to more U.S. cities: In photos - Axios
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
New Non-Opioid Drug Offers Powerful Pain Relief Without the Dangerous Side Effects - SciTechDaily
Im dying but, im not bitter.
This is soul school!.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
What’s next for Fannie and Freddie under Trump administration? - Investing.com
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Have you had any paranormal activity situations happen personally to you or someone you know?
I will be 64.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Subway owner buys popular chicken chain in $1 billion deal - PennLive.com
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
NZ nutritional biochemist takes her supplement breakthrough to the market - Stuff
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Is anyone up to have a little conversation?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He knew the spot.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
What are some innovative business ideas for leveraging AI in 2024?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Et distinctio voluptatem magni repudiandae.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
My life is so biszare .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
She loved him until the end.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I was very sick at this time too.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I don,t even have a pension.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
My family never makes their pension either.
I write beautiful poetry .
He resisted the act ,that day.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
And i lived it daily.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
So whats the point in blame.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But it wasn’t much.
I waited trembling.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She was in good health!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I was seconnd youngest,
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I was scared of men, in general
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
We all went to grammer schools
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Im still living with it.
We were not on the streets..
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I have no regrets .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
But, we were locked up after school.
Why did i forgive my father ?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Put me off passion for life!!
I think the readers, may guess!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
When she asked me how she looked .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She found it foreign!.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Who then, do I blame.?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Would this be the day?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
All the time i was locked up.
I said to her
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
One cannot live in the past .
She married twice! .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I couldn’t, believe it.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
But ive been too sick for many years..
It was going to be , some day.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I never cut or harmed myself..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
She wouldn,t have been !
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Comes on , in middle age.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
So, i spoilt her more .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I was 9 years of age.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Ive learnt so much.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
What did i know ?